You've got to do what you gotta do...

I learnt this the hard way, that there is never the right time. So often when taking a step for something, we wait for the right time. But how did we know that now isnt? What makes us think that we will have the chance to do what we want to do when we deem it fit? Yes, when I made the mistake for the first time I thought thats okay, Ill probably have the chance next time. I forgot that there is no next time because nobody can see the future. No one can predict the future. So when I lost the chance again, for the second time *I tell you, Im not proud of it* it hits me pretty hard.

Because you never know what the future holds, you never know what you might lose when youre so busy taking your chance and time, its better to get hurt now after you've done your best in the present rather than losing your only chance forever and regretting what couldve happened if youre taking the first step.

Theres no use crying over the spilled milk but until I can forgive myself, I think there will be times when I will post things like this. And if its bothering you, please forgive me and ignore me. Right now I just need some time to organize my thoughts, and hopefully I can come back as a strong and wise woman.

Andai itu takdirnya

I want to tell you a story, and please pardon my English.

This is a story about a girl that had a crush on her senior for a long time. She met this guy, her senior in the new school when she got transferred there. Its not love at the first sight but as time passed, she learnt that he was kind of guy she wanted as a husband. She did made her first move and they became friends, but due to her insecurities, she immaturely ended their relationship. As they lost contact, she regretted her decision and she kept praying that one day she will meet him again. It turned out, they met again as they studied in a same university and coincidentally both of them joined the program their university organized. She had the chance to see how much time had changed him to a better person, and realized that she fell for the same guy again. After that day, she tried to keep her distance as she didnt want to repeat the same mistakes she did when they were in school so she had been watching him from a far. She also didnt want to be so forward, because she afraid she might get rejected. She realized it wont get any better if she let things passed without doing something to change it so she had been preparing herself to try for a confession. She never thought she would lost her chance forever when one day she received a news that he had passed away. He had returned to his Creator, and she knew that now she wont be able to see him again anymore.

She prepared herself that he might marry someone else, but to lose him that way? She knew she had to accept it. She prayed that he would have peace there, and hoping one day her broken heart could be healed because she had been liking him for a very long time.

P/S: Al-Fatihah for him.
P/S: I know it sounds cheesy but oh well...

Pergi tak kembali

Sebelum subuh semalam, mendapat perkhabaran yang dia kini telah kembali kepada PenciptaNya.
Al-Fatihah.
Semoga rohnya tenang di sana.