I learnt this the hard way, that there is never the right time. So often when taking a step for something, we wait for the right time. But how did we know that now isnt? What makes us think that we will have the chance to do what we want to do when we deem it fit? Yes, when I made the mistake for the first time I thought thats okay, Ill probably have the chance next time. I forgot that there is no next time because nobody can see the future. No one can predict the future. So when I lost the chance again, for the second time *I tell you, Im not proud of it* it hits me pretty hard.
Because you never know what the future holds, you never know what you might lose when youre so busy taking your chance and time, its better to get hurt now after you've done your best in the present rather than losing your only chance forever and regretting what couldve happened if youre taking the first step.
Theres no use crying over the spilled milk but until I can forgive myself, I think there will be times when I will post things like this. And if its bothering you, please forgive me and ignore me. Right now I just need some time to organize my thoughts, and hopefully I can come back as a strong and wise woman.