Saturday, August 17, 2013


I am worried. What is the future for our family, especially when abah and mama are going for Hajj for 45 days? 45 days without them nearby, the future seems black.

I know they are always fighting, cannot getting along although they are siblings by blood (not that we have others, nauzubillah), I always thought fighting is good because somehow fighting strengthen the bonds between sibling (I think so), but there are limits for everything. Too much fighting between siblings might ruin your family relationships. 

But lately, they have been fighting and it has a murderous feeling in their eyes. Like I dont need you and I hope you will be vanished from this world feeling. Or am I too sensitive? Its not like I havent done that. Well, when we were younger we always fought with each other, when it turned bad, mama gave us knives, so that we could kill each other and well....since we are pretty much alive, its a good method to stop a fight.

I have been worried not because they always fight with each other, I get that, two of them are always at odd with each other and I know they actually can get along with each other well, but I am worried because it has gotten bad especially lately and I think its going to get worse soon when abah and mama are not around. I honestly dont know what I am supposed to do. As the eldest of the siblings, I should find a way to deal with their temperament and stubbornness but I dont know anything. Maybe I should do what my mom did back then? Give them knives and they can kill each other and I dont care about that? Maybe its a good idea except it might have a backlash? They might kill each other for real.....and worse, I MIGHT KILL THEM MYSELF! 

45 days without your parents, it sounds scary when I think about that at this current situation. I am not sure if I can do a good job looking after my brothers and sisters while they are away. I hope everything will be OK, and please spare me with their arguments. I just want to help my parents and I really dont have time to deal with their stubbornness.

p/s: Can I lock them somewhere instead? Just kidding ;P

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