Kecewa

Assalamualaikum

Maafla, entry malam nie, akan lebih kepada meluahkan perasaan. So sape-sape yang rasa tak berminat, stop sampai sini sahaja ok!

Hurmmmm...mcm mana nak start ea? OK, this gurl dengan I, kitaorang decide nak join kelas bahasa Jepun level 1, for beginner, buat kat KTF(kolej kitaorang) aje. so this week merupakan minggu ketiga kelas kami. I realized, since the beginning of that class until today, dia macam not interested to go, but as I pujuk, dia tetap pergi. She always said "I ni jenis hangat-hangat tahi ayam, etc...." time tue, masa dengar, walaupun hati I panas but I buat tak tahu jugak. I tetap pujuk dia to join the class with me. I know she joined the class half-heartedly, but since she once said to me, she has passion in Japanese language and culture and actually dia pernah belajar Japanese language dulu, sebab tu la I ajak dia join.

Then, tonight, when we were ready after Isya', she said, boleh tak you pergi sorang je? She said she has work to do. And I was like.......so disappointed at that time, but still I said "OK"...up to you lah, penat dah berpura-pura jadi cheerful. So I pown just go, without saying anything towards her. Class starts as usual, this time I duduk kat depan, tengah pulak tue, menghadap sensei....Aigoo.....kena jadi good student la malam ni. hehehe. Then, sensei distribute buku, untuk kelas kami for the whole course. At that time, I was thinking, patut x I ambil buku tu untuk dia? Throughout the class, I asyik fikir, nak ambik ke tak! Kalau ambil, then nanti dia cakap dia dah tak nak join kelas tue, then what about the book? I nak kena tebalkan muka ke mengatakan dia tak datang? Tapi kalau I tak ambil, nanti kalau dia actually nak join the class, and next session sensei dah tak bawak copy, what should I do?

So finally I decide, tak pe lah, next week kalau dia nak join the class, she can ask the book from sensei BY HERSELF! Actually at that time, I memang disappointed giler dengan her attitude! Before I ke kelas, after solat Isya' and such, bila dia cakap dia tak boleh pergi, tho I didnt asked her, dia cakap dia ada kerja malam ni. OK, that's fine. whatever. I dont care! Masa I tengah jalan ke kelas, rasa nak meletup sangat! I cuba tenangkan diri dengan meng'excited'kan diri I dengan kelas tu, tapi I still cant. Dalam kepala ni, tertanya-tanya, kalau kata banyak kerja, kenapa mesti bangun lambat hari ni? Then kenapa masih sempat nak tengok cerita? Somehow I cannot accept that kind of excuses. LAME! It really pissed me off!

Sampai I tertanya-tanya, maybe salah I sebab paksa dia ikut I ke kelas tue? but where's the passion that she mentioned before? How come, when you commit into something, you didnt take responsibility? You joined the class, tapi kenapa mesti skip? I really cannot accept that excuses. Sorry, dia mungkin betul, tapi still, I cant accept.

I know Im not good at dealing with people, maybe thats why I felt that way. So now, we kinda have a cold war. Dia cakap "jangan serious sangat".....OK, fine! I memang a serious person. But thats not the reason I treated her that way, the BIGGEST reason is Im so disappointed at her that I cannot put a happy face in front of her now.

So I called Mama and had a chat with my sis, though they didnt know what's going on, but at least, I feel relieved now. Sekarang bolehla sambung makan!

Jya ne^^ sorry for all the harsh words.

p/s: Still adjusting myself.

p/s/s: gomen ne, bila I marah, memang campur. Bukan nak tunjuk terer ke apa yang sememangnya I tak terer lam English, tapi at least, dengan menggunakan English sedikit sebanyak boleh meredakan kemarahan I. ye lah, nak fikir and translate lagi.......huhuhuhu.....jadi kemarahan I sempat la sejuk =D

p/s/s/s: nak balik rumah sekarang jugak rasanya!