Looking back

Looking back, reading my previous entries, I wonder if I wrote them, because I could barely handle the cheesiness and awkwardness Im having at the moment. LOL....

You've got to do what you gotta do...

I learnt this the hard way, that there is never the right time. So often when taking a step for something, we wait for the right time. But how did we know that now isnt? What makes us think that we will have the chance to do what we want to do when we deem it fit? Yes, when I made the mistake for the first time I thought thats okay, Ill probably have the chance next time. I forgot that there is no next time because nobody can see the future. No one can predict the future. So when I lost the chance again, for the second time *I tell you, Im not proud of it* it hits me pretty hard.

Because you never know what the future holds, you never know what you might lose when youre so busy taking your chance and time, its better to get hurt now after you've done your best in the present rather than losing your only chance forever and regretting what couldve happened if youre taking the first step.

Theres no use crying over the spilled milk but until I can forgive myself, I think there will be times when I will post things like this. And if its bothering you, please forgive me and ignore me. Right now I just need some time to organize my thoughts, and hopefully I can come back as a strong and wise woman.

Andai itu takdirnya

I want to tell you a story, and please pardon my English.

This is a story about a girl that had a crush on her senior for a long time. She met this guy, her senior in the new school when she got transferred there. Its not love at the first sight but as time passed, she learnt that he was kind of guy she wanted as a husband. She did made her first move and they became friends, but due to her insecurities, she immaturely ended their relationship. As they lost contact, she regretted her decision and she kept praying that one day she will meet him again. It turned out, they met again as they studied in a same university and coincidentally both of them joined the program their university organized. She had the chance to see how much time had changed him to a better person, and realized that she fell for the same guy again. After that day, she tried to keep her distance as she didnt want to repeat the same mistakes she did when they were in school so she had been watching him from a far. She also didnt want to be so forward, because she afraid she might get rejected. She realized it wont get any better if she let things passed without doing something to change it so she had been preparing herself to try for a confession. She never thought she would lost her chance forever when one day she received a news that he had passed away. He had returned to his Creator, and she knew that now she wont be able to see him again anymore.

She prepared herself that he might marry someone else, but to lose him that way? She knew she had to accept it. She prayed that he would have peace there, and hoping one day her broken heart could be healed because she had been liking him for a very long time.

P/S: Al-Fatihah for him.
P/S: I know it sounds cheesy but oh well...

Pergi tak kembali

Sebelum subuh semalam, mendapat perkhabaran yang dia kini telah kembali kepada PenciptaNya.
Al-Fatihah.
Semoga rohnya tenang di sana.

Personality test...again

Assalamualaikum.

Godek-godek previous posts, terjumpa personality tests yang aku pernah buat once upon a time. So I retook the test, dan result dia macam di bawah. In conclusion, x ada beza pun. Ada perubahan pada one or two parts, but mostly consistent. So, here goes nothing ^^

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Hee....this is just for fun but I admit there are certain parts yang do mirror my thoughts. What are they? I wont tell ya ;p Tapi ada juga parts yang sebenarnya tidak melambangkan diri aku yang sebenarnya....I think so....

Kalau nak try, boleh try link ini. Douzo~~~

Future

Assalamualaikum...

Its been a while...ingat nak biar blog ni berkulat je....but apparently Im coming back here ^^

Now that it seems like my life is finally in order, or so I thought, maka....boleh la nak update di sini.

Alhamdulillah, Im finally done with MSc viva...well, with correction, of course. But thats okay, its not like I expected everything to be perfect, at least with little time given I finally have a chance to think about my future. To seriously think about it, not just wishing and dreaming how my future gonna be....

But....it is a scary process. To make decision on what you are about to do. Sometimes I wonder can I just stay at home and be my parents assistant instead? hahahaha....

So....have you heard a poem entitled "The Road Not Taken" written by Robert Frost? 

The Road Not Taken

BY ROBERT FROST

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Poem ni aku copy-paste dari sini

Analysis of this poem can be googled....and since Im not going to analyse it (pardon me, since it is not my forte), and all I wanna say is....the poem, or at least the first half of it, represents what Im currently has to deal. But....I dont know which road should I take and it is so frustrating because youre....scared....of what the future might hold! Both paths have its risks and uncertainties, and more importantly, you dont wanna regret with what you have chosen later.

p/s: Well....for now....I just do the correction first, decision later. Huhuhu ;p